WILL THE GENTLEMAN…

… kindly crawl outside to expire.

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DIFF’RENT STROKES

Sensuality comes in a variety of flavors, but durian-scented?

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HIGH TIDE, LOW TIDE

Red tide, and now banana tide.

THERE’S PRAISE…

…and then there’s praise.

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WHAT’S BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER?

And plummets like an anvil?

WHINE AND CHEESED OFF

In unison.

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WHERE’S THAT BATICILLIN WHEN YOU NEED IT?

Hong Kong: 1, Batman: 0

ROBOT RALLY

Driven to drive.

YELL TELL

One may get hoarse, but it is officially royalty-free.

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ON THE FRINGE

Offbeat experiments.

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DRIVE JIVE

Memo to self: Stay off the roads in Ireland.

CANINE CONVENIENCE

Looking to extend the life of lamp posts.

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NAMING THE DISEASE

Dick Cheney ought to leave comedy to the professionals.

WHAT IS FOUR CENTURIES OLD…

…and would be tasty with butter and garlic?

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POKER IS HOT…

…but hot pokers as well?

THERE’S STUPID…

…and there’s stoo-pid.

LOGO MANIA

Definitely the Hello Kitty one. Definitely.

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OVER EXPOSED

Lodging owners confront the naked truth about an increasing number of guests.

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LE SPLISH, LE SPLASH

You can’t spell Paris without a ‘pee.’

KING GARBO

Ex-royal decree: Leave me alone.

PAREIDOLIA ON PARADE

Greed, gullibility, and a pebble.

BEHIND THAT SMILE

Looking into the Mona Lisa.

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ROB JOB PROB

What about “no cash” didn’t they understand? Apparently, everything.

DECIMAL DONNYBROOK

Pentagon: what’s a measly $23.9 billion error, anyway?

TELL US ANOTHER…

…because that one ain’t gonna fly.

NO WEATHERVANES PLEASE, WE’RE CANADIAN

Ye old scribe recommends: windspinner.

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TECH OF THE LAST DROP

We might yet just find out if those last few dabs of ketchup always left in the bottle are the tastiest.

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FLUFFY FIGHT

On a Belgian field, getting down with down.

PEEK-A-BOO BUFFET

Ever have the feeling you were being watched? Then this is the dining place for you.

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KEEP BACK — THEY’VE GOT PICKLES

Hazardous round-up runs the gamut.

“LAMB-IN-A-BOX”

Saying “Ba-a-aah” to the middlemen.

LICENSE TO BLUSH

Maybe they should consider hieroglyphs for the license plates.

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HIRSUTE PURSUIT

A claim to ‘fame’ — by a hair.

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TINY TRAFFIC

Caution: Dr. Denton’s ahead.

LIKE HATS IN THE 50s…

…thankfully, neckties are racing to obsolescence.

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LAST HOUR

Polling what people say they would do (naturally, what they would actually do would almost certainly be quite different).

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ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER METHANE BURST

Forecast for Xanadu: Rain, followed by drizzles, followed by showers…

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED…

Perhaps the reason there aren’t voluminous records of unrefined or unworkable models is just becuse the were failures.

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STINGY POWER

27 hours on a soda can’s worth of fuel

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BROTHEL, CAN YOU SPARE A DIME?

Positioned on top: Sporting house sponsorship.